Chapter 9: Selfish
Jeff woke up the following morning as he heard the door open then close. He opened his eyes and saw Anya walking towards him and getting under the blanket. “Anya im naked” Jeff said and she laughed. “Yes I know” she replied. “Anya, I am not wearing anything” Jeff reiterated. “That’s the same as being naked I know that. Why are you worried I have seen everything yesterday” she said and he laughed.
“Can I borrow your phone? I want to call Nadine and check up on her” he said and Anya felt a slight stab on her chest. “I have been trying to call her since last night but she wouldn’t pick up. I called their home and the maid said they went for a vacation” Anya lied. Jeff felt sad hearing that and Anya noticed it. “She broke up with you right?” Anya asked and Jeff sighed. “Yeah but you all came looking for me, I saw her crying. Maybe she didn’t mean to break up with me” Jeff said.
“Well if she wanted you back then she could have stayed and looked for you. She could have been the one that found you” Anya said and Jeff turned and faced her. “You looked for, why?” Jeff asked her. Anya could not look him straight in the eyes but her heart was racing. “I was concerned about you” she said softly. Jeff caressed her face and Anya trembled, “Remember when I said I saw nothing when I stared at you…I take it back. I misjudged you Anya, you’re a good person and I wish everyone sees that. At first I thought you were this manipulative bossy bitch but I was wrong” he told her.
Anya felt shy so she turned around but Jeff moved closed and embraced her. He leaned his head on her shoulder and Anya could feel his warm breath on her neck. Jeff pulled her closer to his body and she started trembling. “Jeff could you move back a little…I can feel something hard down there” she said giggling. “It’s your fault, coming to my room early in the morning wearing another skimpy outfit” he whispered. She was waiting for him to make a move but he never did. Jeff fell asleep and Anya held his hand tightly. She was feeling guilty but she didn’t want to let go of him now. She turned around and faced him; she wrapped her arms around his body and she closed her eyes.
At that same moment Nadine was sitting by the river, he shoes muddied and unlaced. Tony had fenced the place and destroyed all the Tulips so she was planting new ones. With every seed she planted she made a little wish, hoping that when they grow she and Jeff would be together again to see them.
For two days Anya pampered Jeff, he showed him what it was like to live like a king. Jeff had fun but he missed Nadine badly but he never showed Anya this.
The following morning Anya woke up and quickly ran to Jeff’s room but he was not there. She could not find him anywhere inside the house so she asked all the workers to look for him. After an hour of searching she gave up, she went back to his room and noticed some of his clothes were missing. There was only one place she had in mind so she summoned her driver and they headed towards the river.
The car stopped and Anya rushed out of the car, she slid through the opening that they made days ago and ran towards the tree. Jeff was there seated, his shoes unlaced and muddy. “Are you expecting her to just show up here? I told you that she went on a vacation” Anya said and Jeff kept his head bowed.
“Jeff I know you miss her but have pity on yourself. Look what she did to you, she didn’t trust you. I know Tony did much damage but at least she could have given you the benefit of the doubt. You have to move on Jeff, coming here makes it more difficult. If she still wanted you or cared for you she could have stayed and looked for you. She could have called me up and asked for help to look for you. But where is she now? Tell me where is she? Is she here?”
“Jeff she isn’t here…but I am” Anya said. Jeff slowly looked up and saw her crying, he looked around and there were no more Tulips left. “They are gone, we used to come here always because of the flowers, but they are all gone” he softly said and stood up. Jeff wiped her tears and embraced her. “I am sorry Anya; I know you are trying to help me. Could you please bear with me a little longer, this is my first heart break so everything I am experiencing is new to me. I know what you are trying to tell me, I have to move on but please give me more time” he whispered to her ear.
After spending a few minutes together by the river the two decided to head back home. As they were inside the car Anya noticed the other vehicle approaching, it was one of Anya’s cars. Her windows were not tinted and Anya would be able to see Jeff and she did not want that to happen. Anya quickly bent forward and touched her right foot and pretended to be in pain. Jeff likewise bent forward and massaged her aching foot. “Are you okay?” Jeff asked. “It suddenly hurt but please don’t stop massaging it” Anya replied.
Inside the other car was Nadine, she recognized Anya’s car so she quickly rolled down her tinted window. The cars were moving slowly, as the two cars were side by side Nadine saw no one seated at the back of the car. Nadine felt odd; she didn’t know why Anya’s car would come from the campus on a vacation. She didn’t think much of it as soon as she saw the barbed fences, “Miss Nadine there seems to be an opening on the fence, would you like to enter here or should we proceed towards the back?” Fritz asked. “Proceed to the back Fritz, don’t worry I’m wearing rubber shoes” she answered as she looked down at her shoes and started to unlace them. She had hoped that Jeff would show up and lace them for her.
Back at other vehicle Anya’s foot got better but she took the acting to a different level, she leaned towards Jeff and closed her eyes. “Anya are you okay?” Jeff asked. “I suddenly feel so weak” she whispered. Jeff panicked and he didn’t know what to do, “We should take you to the hospital” he said. “No, just hold me for now” she said and Jeff embraced her.
Once they got back to Anya’s place they ate breakfast but she pretended to have no appetite. “Anya you have to eat, here let me feed you” Jeff said. Anya liked what was happening so she continued her act after eating. “Jeff if you want to go look for Nadine go ahead. I will just go to my room and sleep. You can ask my driver to take you anywhere and here take my phone so you could call her yourself” she said. “No Anya, I cannot leave you when you are like that. You took care of me so this time I will be the one to take care of you. Come on let me carry you up to your room” he replied. Anya wrapped her arms around him as he carried her.
Once inside her room Jeff tucked her in bed and Anya held his hand. “Jeff lay down with me, I feel so cold” she whispered. He got inside the blanket and embraced her; Anya’s heart was again racing. She knew Jeff still loved Nadine but hopefully this act of hers will draw him closer to her and eventually he could forget Nadine. She pretended to shiver and he embraced her tighter. Jeff started to hum and she wanted to laugh but she kept it all in. “What are you doing?” she asked. “I’m humming you to sleep, sorry I can’t sing so I hope this is fine with you” Jeff said.
“I don’t like it. I want you to sing me a lullaby” Anya told him. “If I do that the more you won’t be able to sleep. You ears would bleed and you might be deaf the rest of your life” he joked her and she laughed. “Jeff please sing for me” she whispered and leaned her head on his chest. “Okay...Oh my God please help me just this once...One lullaby” Jeff whispered and Anya kept laughing, she already forgot that she was playing sick. “Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near…just like me we tend to be close to you…” Jeff started singing and Anya was totally surprised.
He looked at Jeff and saw his eyes closed, he could sing and his voice was giving her goose bumps. “Jeff you have a wonderful voice” she commented and he opened his eyes and smiled at her. “I know, you’re the first person ever to hear me sing. So this is our secret” he told her and closed his eyes again and continued singing. Anya was mesmerized by his voice, at that moment she wanted to kiss him badly but it was too early for that. She just embraced him back and listened to him sing.
The next morning Anya woke up and looked at Jeff while he was sleeping. She moved her face closer to his face and again her heart started to beat faster. She wanted to kiss him and now was her chance. Her lips were so close to his and she started to close her eyes, she felt her lower lip touch his lower lip, she was about to seal the kiss but Jeff woke up. “Anya are you trying to kiss me?” he asked. Surprised she was so she quickly moved back and shook her head. “My God was I trying to kiss you? I thought I was just dreaming I am so sorry” she said and Jeff laughed.
“Why are you laughing?” she asked. “Well I could have pretended to be asleep you know” he replied and she laughed. “Well you should have, you could have known by now how soft my lips are” she teased. “I already know they are because I kissed you while you were asleep” Jeff said and Anya was surprised. She looked at Jeff and his face showed he was serious, she started to blush and Jeff started to laugh. “You actually believe I did that? I was just kidding you” he said.
Anya pouted and felt embarrassed but she turned her game mode on. “I believe you didn’t kiss me, but did it ever cross your mind?” she asked. Jeff twitched and took a deep breath; she was not Nadine so he could have easily lied. “Honestly, I thought about it twice” he told her. Anya smiled and laughed a little, “Why didn’t you then?” she asked. “Well it would not be right, we are friends and I don’t want you to think that I am a pervert or someone who is taking advantage” he said.
“But you wanted to right?” she teased and Jeff smiled. “Were you really asleep and dreaming a while ago?” Jeff retaliated and Anya smiled at him. “What do you think?” she said and Jeff suddenly moved his face closer to hers. “Tell me Anya, if I tried to kiss you right now will you stop me?” Jeff asked as he stared at her eyes. Anya trembled and her heart began racing again, she wanted to say yes but she could not get the words out of her mouth. Jeff’s lips moved closer and closer to hers and Anya closed her eyes and waited for it. A few seconds later she opened her eyes and saw him smiling at her. She got fooled again so she started hitting him on the chest to hide her embarrassment. “You tricked me again!” she shouted and Jeff laughed loudly.
“Actually I was not kidding you but you never gave an answer. If you said yes then I would have kissed you” Jeff explained and Anya smiled. “I say yes” she replied and Jeff laughed at her. “Sorry, the offer expired seconds ago” he said and she pouted. “Jeff be honest, did you really mean what you said at the clubhouse?” Anya suddenly asked and Jeff looked at her. “Of course I did” he answered. “Okay, you don’t have a girlfriend anymore so what’s holding you back? You said you wanted to kiss me; you didn’t need to hear my answer a while ago if you really wanted. So what’s holding you back?” she asked.
“Anya if I did kiss you I would not know how you would react. I was afraid you might take it in the wrong way and it might put a gap in our friendship and I would not like that” he explained. “You and your excuses, why can’t you just admit you don’t find me attractive enough. Guilt is holding you back because you are still thinking of Nadine” Anya said and Jeff pinched her cheek. “About Nadine, yes I feel guilty but never say that I am not attracted to you. I find you very pretty, don’t make me compare but trust me I find you pretty. I do want to kiss you; I have wanted to kiss you, who wouldn’t? Maybe there are more things I would like to do but not just now. If it’s like, yes I do like you but I can’t just kiss you because I like you. There must be a real good reason for me to kiss you, so if you could just wait a little longer but I promise you I will kiss you” he told her.
Anya smiled and pinched his nose and they both laughed. “Just a little” she whispered and she embraced him. “Maybe later…maybe tomorrow…maybe the other day…but definitely it will happen” he said and he kissed her on the cheek. “You kissed me!” she shouted and they both laughed. “Oh so you’re satisfied with that?” he asked and she giggled. “No, but if it hit the right spot then maybe yes” she teased. “And what spot is that?” he asked her. Anya started to laugh and shriek as she pointed her finger on her lips. “Oh so that’s the right spot” Jeff playfully replied. “Hmmm...It’s just one of them” she teased and they kept laughing.
Because of the guilty feelings Anya never hid her phone; she would always make sure Jeff sees it. Each evening she would check the phone if it was used, but Jeff never did and she was happy. Two days before the start of the second semester Anya got up early and went to Jeff’s room. She lay beside him and showed him her phone. “Why haven’t you tried to contact Nadine?” she asked him. Jeff faced her and caressed her face; he stared at her eyes and moved his face closer to hers. “You want me to call her?” he whispered and Anya started to trembling, “I mean…since you miss her…ah maybe she is looking for you” she mumbled. Jeff held the back of her head and he kissed her, Anya was surprised and she froze. She could not move she didn’t expect this; it took her a few seconds before she realized that this is what she has wanted from the beginning.
“Give me your phone” Jeff whispered and Anya whose lips were still burning looked at him. “Why?” she asked. “You told me to call her so I will call her” he said. Anya dropped her phone on the floor and pouted, “You really want to call her do you?” she asked and Jeff nodded. “Why?” she again asked. “Well I want to tell her I am okay and that I still think of her and love her” he said and the more depressed Anya was becoming. “And I want to tell her that I just kissed you, and I will kiss you again and again because I like you” Jeff explained and Anya smiled and played with her hair. “You really don’t have to call her and tell her that, we can just make her jealous when she sees us as a couple you know” she whispered.
“A couple?” he asked and Anya felt shy. “Yeah, you and me, but if you don’t want its fine with me. I am okay with you just being with me like this” she replied. Jeff embraced her and smiled, “That’s going to be difficult, I might not be able to hold back any longer if we are a couple” Jeff teased her and Anya giggled. “So all this time you have been holding back?” she asked. “What do you think? Teasing me every day with, just seeing you makes me want you, and then you just have to wear skimpy outfits. Can you imagine the pain and anguish I had to go through just to resist temptation?” he told her and Anya burst out in laughter.
“Jeff I know this is your last semester, I know you have been supporting yourself for several years now. You have been deprived of so many things; time is precious to you I know that but if we are going to be a couple I want you to spend more time with me. So please swallow your pride a little, I want you to live me. You won’t have to worry about food and a place to stay. All you have to do for this semester is concentrate on your studies and the time you used to spend on thinking about the next day and other things, you spend it on me, be with me” Anya told him.
Jeff paused and looked at her, what she was offering was too much, “Anya I can find work and a place to stay. I will find time to spend with you I promise” he told her. “Jeff please, I know you will graduate soon, you will find a job afterwards. For now I want you to enjoy life for a change. Don’t think of it as taking advantage, I want to do this for you, all I ask in return is being together with you. Jeff please swallow your pride just a little, please Jeff I want to be with you always. I don’t want to worry about you; I don’t want to keep thinking if you have eaten or if you are safe where you are sleeping”
“I care so much about you. If you are ashamed about what people will say then we will keep it a secret. Please say yes” she pleaded and Jeff took a deep breath. “Wow, I don’t know what to say really. So this is going to be my room for one semester then” he replied and Anya grinned. “I have a bigger room and a bigger bed” she teased him and he laughed. “Fine, I will agree in one condition. We must have separate rooms” Jeff said and Anya pouted. “Okay, that is fine with me” she replied. “Really? How come you look so sad all of a sudden?” Jeff teased her and again she pouted.
“I just said we must have two separate rooms and I never said we never sleep beside each other. I can sleep in your room for one night and you can come sleep in my room on another night. Since you have lots of room we can sleep on other rooms too” Jeff said and Anya laughed and embraced him.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Chapter 9: Selfish