Saturday, June 21, 2008

Who I Am: Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Acceptance

Mrs. Jenkins was reviewing a file and scribbling some notes on her desk pad when a mild buzzer sounded. “Madam Peter is here” said the voice on the intercom speaker. “Thank you Anna, send him in please” she answered. A few seconds later Peter comes in the door and seats in front of her desk. “Good morning” Peter said in a low and shy voice. Mrs. Jenkins placed down the file and brought out another folder.

“Peter, you have been with us for four months now, how are you?” Mary asked him. Peter looked at her curiously and grinned. “Well is that a trick question or is that a serious question?” Peter shot back. Mrs. Jenkins laughed and stood up and sat on the vacant seat beside Peter. “Now I am not in front of my desk I am speaking to you as a friend. How are you Peter?” Mary repeated. “So right now you are not my superior so work aside I am fine as always” he replied. “I heard that you are at peace with Melanie already, but how come you have not advanced with Anna yet?” Mary said and Peter was surprised. “Advanced with Mary? What do you mean?” he asked.

Mary grinned and elaborated “Anna is beautiful am I right?” and Peter nodded in agreement. “She is your closest friend here am I right?” she asked and again he nodded. “No sparks? No hidden feelings that I should know about?” Mary playfully asked. Peter laughed and fixed his collar “Oh I can see where you are getting at, no sparks whatsoever” he replied. Mary looked at him curiously and said “Did you like the movie Brokeback Mountain?” and Peter laughed louder. “You psychologists do really have a funny way of asking questions. I never watched that film and I am not gay thank you” he said.

“So maybe its Melanie then” Mary quickly jabbed. Peter sighed and looked at Mary then bowed his head. “No, there is no one” he softly answered. Mary stood up and paced around her office for a few seconds then she sat back down. “Why can’t you let go Peter? Why are you still holding on?” Mary suddenly asked him. Peter pouted and simply stared at the floor and did not respond.

“Do you think she will come back? Is that what you are wishing for? Keeping yourself busy always so that the memories would not haunt you?” Mary kept on going and Peter stood up and walked towards the window. “Eight years…she was my everything, my life revolved around her. I have adapted to her, I learned to depend some things on her and suddenly one day she just said it was over. No reason that I know of…she just said it was over…eight years” he said softly and leaned his forehead on the window.

“I always stare outside windows wondering where she is, what she is doing…why she ended it. Yes I am wishing that she would come back and say she made a mistake and I would forgive her and we would be together again” Peter revealed. “What if she does not come back? How long are you willing to wait?” Mary asked and he remained silent. A minute later Peter walked towards the door and excused himself for a while. Mary did not object and remained seated as she waited for him to come back, she did not bother to ask why since remnants of Peter’s tears were still flowing down the window glass.

Five minutes later Peter came back in the office but Mary was already in her desk seat. “So I guess this time you’re my superior again” Peter said and Mary nodded. “Back to business, I forgot to inform you that yearly we have what we call the company week, during this time everyone enjoys less work and more fun. For new employees they have to perform in the Big Night, and since you are the only new employee from your division then you have to perform alone” she told him. Peter scratched his head and fixed his seat. “So what am I supposed to do? Shall I make a graphics display? I can make a music video and integrate the graphics that I can make.” Peter suggested. Mary shook her head and said “You are going to sing” and Peter was speechless.

“You are going to sing in front of everyone” Mary repeated and Peter laughed. “I am sorry but I don’t know how to sing” he lied and scratched his head. “I have seen and heard you sing so you cannot lie to me” Mary revealed and Peter was surprised and simply stared at her. “You cannot fool me even though you did manage to look different. Long hair and rocker look but your mannerisms were the same” she stated and Peter started laughing. “And I was really surprised to see you that night I almost choked” he said and they both laughed. “I don’t earn anything from the bar I promise, you told me to get a hobby so I guess I did. I don’t get paid and please believe me” Peter said and Mary nodded. “Don’t worry Peter, George told me everything. He and I go a long way so your secret is safe with me” Mary said.

The intercom buzzer sounded and Anna’s voice was heard “Madam Melanie is here” and Mary told Anna to send her in. A few seconds later Melanie stepped through the door and she was asked to take a seat. Melanie was surprised to see Peter and they just exchanged smiles.

“Melanie what do you think of Kyle?” Mary quickly asked her. Melanie blushed and smiled “He sings well” she quipped. “I heard you have been frequently seen on that bar watching him perform am I right?” Mary said and Melanie nodded. “So what would you say if he was to perform here for us?” Mary added and Melanie became excited and said “Are you serious?” and Mary nodded. “Well that would be really amazing I should say a lot of people would be happy” Melanie added. “And how about you, what would you feel?” Mary asked her and grinned. “I would be really happy, but if I would get a chance to have a date with him then that would be even better” Melanie revealed and laughed. Peter smiled and looked at Mary who was staring at him. “Okay that will be all for now, spread the word then that Kyle will be coming” Mary told her and Melanie stood up at once and asked “When is he coming? Today? Tonight? When?” and Mrs. Jenkins laughed. “On the company night, now go along and please ask Anna to come inside” Mary said and Melanie rushed towards the door and waived at Peter as she stepped out.

Anna peeked at the door and Mary signaled her to come inside and take a seat. Peter greeted her with a smile as he again scratched his head. “What is it madam?” Anna asked. “Did you know that Peter know Kyle?” Mary asked her. Peter looked at Mary then shifted his eyes towards Anna. “Peter is that true?” Anna asked him. He was speechless and again looked at Mary who was grinning. “Yes, they know each other. Peter promised me that Kyle would be performing on the company night” Mary revealed and Anna was beaming with total happiness all over.

“Tell me Anna, what do you think about Kyle?” Mary asked her. Anna took a deep breath and started playing with her pen. “Kyle is a mysterious person, he sings well and he reminds me so much of Peter” Anna stated and Mary and Peter looked at her closely. “Kyle reminds you of Peter?” Mary asked and Anna nodded and looked at Peter. “You see Peter is likewise mysterious. Kyle has his face hidden all the time and all we know about him is he sings well. Peter on the other hand we see him every day and we know what he is capable of” she said and Mary raised her eyebrows. “Silly me, well both of them you don’t know what is running through their minds, you know they are good at something but still that’s only as far you will ever get to know” Anna added.

“So what else would you like to know about them? Peter is here so maybe you can ask him” Mary suggested and Anna blushed. “Anyway madam if I remember correctly, new employees have to perform on the company night so will Peter be performing too?” Anna asked and Mary suddenly turned to Peter. Mary laughed and looked at Anna “tell me Anna, who would you like to see perform Kyle or Peter?” and Anna quickly answered “I have seen Kyle several times already, I want to see Peter perform” then she blushed one more time. Peter scratched his head and laughed but Mary was grinning from ear to ear. “Oh, so what would you like Peter to do? Dance?” Mary asked and Anna played with her hair and said “I would like to hear him sing” and she laughed.

“Sing? Me sing?” Peter quickly interrupted and Anna nodded and smiled at him. “What makes you think I can sing?” Peter asked her. “I heard you sing several times” Anna revealed and Peter was shocked and looked at Mary who shrugged her shoulders. “You heard me sing? When did I sing?” Peter pursued her. Anna looked at the ceiling and said “There was a time when it was raining and you were seating on the sofa, I heard you singing but you stopped when I sat down. Then another time was when you were doing overtime and I heard you singing again as you were working alone” Anna stated.

Mary tapped her desk and started to laugh “I want to hear you sing Peter, so you will sing on company night. That would be all for now Anna don’t worry he won’t be able to say no I will assure you that” Mary told her and Anna smiled at them both and went out of the office.

“What are you trying to do? You know I can’t be Kyle and Peter at the same night” Peter angrily said. “You cant? But Kyle and Peter is the same person is it not?” Mary responded. “Yes I know that but the don’t. I thought this was our secret?” Peter countered. “It is our secret, so you decide who will come on the company night? Will it be Peter or Kyle?” Mary asked and Peter sighed and slouched on his seat.

“Both of them do like Kyle, they are interested in him. So they are interested in you, isn’t that enough reason for you to move on already?” Mary suddenly said and Peter realized what she was trying to do. “Melanie sees you every day at work; she knows you already so she chose Kyle since that person is still a mystery for her. Anna on the other hand has been friends with you for months now and she chose you. Whatever it may be it boils down to you, they both like you, and the question now is who among them will you choose?” Mary added and Peter bowed his head. “I can’t be both Kyle and Peter at the same night, if I choose to be Kyle then you would say I favor Melanie, if I come as myself you would say I choose Anna” Peter stated and rubbed his forehead.

“Whoever comes on that night it would still be you. So you are right who will it be Anna or Melanie?” Mary said and looked at Peter. “How come it came to that choice? Why do I have to choose between them?” Peter snapped back and Mary laughed. “If you had no feelings for them then the decision would be really easy. Since you are having a hard time deciding then it’s quite clear that you are torn between the two of them. Now I know you will say you don’t want to hurt the other one’s feelings but right now you three are not attached to each other, so whoever you choose among the two then the other one just has to accept reality. Peter I am not putting you up on a pedestal, it just so happens they both like you and you are holding back because you are clinging to the past. Accept what fate has dealt you and move on already” Mary said.

“What if she…” Peter was about to say when Mary interrupted him and said “What if she comes back? When will that happen? What if she won’t come back? You are willing to wait and make yourself more miserable? Do you think the two would wait for you? In the end you will end up with nothing. Accept reality even though it hurts. Move on and get on with your life, that woman who left you does not deserve you”

Peter took a deep breath and took a deep breath and stood up. “I guess I have to go and practice my singing now” he said and Mary looked on curiously. “So who will show up Peter or Kyle?” Mary asked playfully and Peter smiled at her and said “Keep on guessing for now.”