Monday, March 24, 2008

In Search of Nowhere

They say only the ones who have felt pain know what pain feels like. Those who have felt heartache are the only ones who can tell about it, that is if they survive and recover. Being in denial for such a long time made me idle, i became useless, hopeless, but i was still breathing. I can still feel the dagger that stabbed my heart although the wounds may have had healed but the memories linger on.

Acceptance is the key to recover, thats what Doc Phil says, but what do i have to accept? Accept the fact that I am alone all over again? Accept the fact that its all over? Accept the fact that I have to move on and forget everything that has happened? Or should i just pretend to be alright? Remove my memories and I will fully recover, remove those cherished moments thats keeps hunting me and maybe i will accept that its over.

I have accepted the reality in a harsh manner. Now i have much anger inside me that I want to bring out. Ever since I was little they told me that I had a great mind, I also believed that but lately I have been doubting that. No matter how great they say my mind is, I could not stand the mental anguish of the pain that I have gone through.....still going through.

All i can do is imagine of happy days, of happy moments....and the rest of the stories you shall find here are all the creations of a mind that has gone through tremendous amounts of pain.