...I Am Now

...I Am Now
Paul Diaz


What seemed like a fairy tale ended abruptly
With no happy ending, it was a dream, just a fantasy
I lived in a fairy tale that i wished there was no ending
It was just another sad story, with an end to my disliking

What once was is now just a distant memory
A tale which could be told by who else but me
Lost I was and I hid it from everyone
Too ashamed to admit that half my heart was gone

With tired and dried eyes I open them and see nothing
Scared to make a step but somehow i must start moving
Its time to end the old book and a new one I shall start
A new but tedious journey to mend my broken heart

Just like nine years ago i am again alone
I let go of all the misery and harshness my fate has shown
People kept asking how I am but i shy away somehow
This time when they ask me, heads up i answer....

Acceptance

Acceptance

Paul Diaz

I heard it crack and i did feel much pain
I will never hear you say I love you again
I pick up the pieces of my shattered heart
It broke the moment you and i fell apart

The memories that we had i will cherrish forever
You will be in my heart even though were not together
All i want to say is that you hurt me badly
Your reason i dont want to know, I just hope that youre happy

And if by chance we do ever see each other
Just one smile please even though we are over
May he be the man that i was not able to be
May he fulfill your dreams and love you endlessly

Thank you for all the time we spent together
In my heart you will remain forever
I do feel bitter but there is still one thing that is true
Please believe me when i say I still love you

TIRED OF WAITING

TIRED OF WAITING
Paul Diaz

She does not have to say it because the message is clear
The worst scenario that mosts lovers do fear
Still I it deny and do wish for the best
I did what i can, God will take care of the rest

Years ago i started to feel what most people call love
She was God's gift to me, a present that i can have
She came to my life and my being single was over
She was my first true love, the one i wished that would last forever

I do admit much fault since it was really a first for me
I was selfish, careless, insensitive, and i was truly sorry
I treasured her more and i treated her like a queen
Everything was set but problems came creeping in

She wanted to work far so apart we could be
Long distance it was but she still loved me
A year did went by and her love started to shatter
I somehow knew that soon our love will be over

She came back to me and my heart started to celebrate
But an ill feeling struck when she started talking about fate
I was the last to know that she would venture to another country
A land far away, a place where i would not be

She gave me a kiss and promised not to take long
So i tucked all tears in and became emotionally strong
A year has gone by and I never heard from her
Is this the end, is it all over?

I have gone through denial although it was not still clear
I keep having nightmares of that painful scenario that i fear
So much tears I have shed but i still hope for the better
I wish that one day this nightmare will be over

The message is clear i wish she could just be honest
Still i am the same idiot who is still hoping for the best
Each day that pass by I wish the tides would start changing
I am in so much pain, i am tired of waiting.

ONE BEAT (poem)

ONE BEAT

Paul Diaz

The moment I saw you my heart skipped and beat faster

Alone in this world I shall never be any longer

He may have left you because of your weak heart

A dire condition as stated in your medical chart

We are just the same, I too am suffering

I’m not curable and so my time is ticking

To prove my love I would do one amazing feat

When it’s done we would have one beat.

No second thoughts and one final decision

My heart is yours, be healthy and live on

I may be gone but I made you complete

Together we are one heart and one beat

A preview to the story entitled "ONE BEAT"

TOO LATE

TOO LATE
Paul Diaz

She was just a friend who i started to admire
The perfect partner that would fulfill my heart's desire
I was ashamed so i never did admit
That she was the girl who would make my life complete

She started to love but that guy was not me
I gave up hope, maybe we werent meant to be
Reality i accepted i was contented as a friend
So much pain inside me, how i wish it would end

One day they broke up and she cried to no end
My shoulders were hers still i was just a friend
In her mind that guy she still cannot forget
I have to tell her now or i will live in regret

Wedding day came she was an angel in white
How come i was nervous, and shaking in freight
I knew that there was nothing else i could do
When i heard them say those words, "I DO"

My Heart

My heart.....
by Paul Diaz

The ideas in my head i try to visualize and illustrate.
But my hands start painting things my brain does not dictate.
I close my eyes and let my hands freely do the art.
In the end it was a portrait of the person in my heart.

I try to sing a song out loud but a voice keeps interrupting.
It keeps messing up my song so i shut up and start listening
The voice was singing a song about you, so soft and mesmerizing.
So close the voice was to me....it was my heart that was singing.

I Close My Eyes

I close my eyes...
by Paul Diaz

The Day is Dull and somewhat boring
I close my eyes,the mood starts changing.
Time passess by and nothings worth doing.
I close my eyes, suddenly im smiling.
Everytime I shut my eyes you suddenly appear.
Although were far apart with my eyes closed
you are here.

I stroll alone wandering the places we have been.
Each place i stop and linger on the memories that lie within.
I can see clearly. all the happiness that we had
But reality suddenly struck me, all alone, so sad.

You are in a new place, new sites you have gone to.
No memories of me i know because im not there with you.
So i do stay away from places where i do remember our past.
With my closed were together, how i hope this feeling wont last.

The only place we have in common is when we look up high
Sunny day or a cloudy one, we still both have the sky.
Whenever i look up the sky i wish you are looking too.
For in that magical moment together its me and you.

I close my eyes...